Some of the respondents have not left the denomination, but neither are they active in local UM churches. They, too, have strong connections to the UM denomination that make it difficult for them to stay and accept things they way they are, to stay and work for change, or to leave the denomination all together. For them, for now, the choice, and not a comfortable choice, is to be inactive. Many of these respondents are also clergy.

I was a closeted ordained minister in the [deleted] Conference... until conference leaders found out my sexual orientation and required me to resign my ordination. My current affiliation is one of a resentful outsider. I do not currently attend any local UM church.... Since [the annual conference] is Bible-Belt conservative, there are no gay-friendly UM churches in the area that I know of. However, even if the conference had a Reconciling Congregation, I would not want to be a second-class member of the church, only marginally accepted.

I wish I had the intestinal fortitude (literally) to continue with the UM church -- to work on these issues as a lay person, now that I am no longer clergy. But it seems too hard right now. Maybe not enough time has passed.

Although I have maintained my UMC membership, I chose to work at and attend a liberal [deleted] church during seminary. They welcomed and encouraged my sacramental and educational leadership without subjecting me to any of the intense scrutiny of my "personal life" that I know awaits me in the UM ordination process. My few precious years in that... church were an oasis of vocational freedom in an environment of true Christian hospitality. Were it not for my lifelong love of, and commitment to, the UMC and my Methodist heritage, I would consider switching my membership. However, I am also aware that many [deleted] congregations are not quite so hospitable as the one I attended!

I was raised in the United Methodist Church, baptized and confirmed, was active in youth groups and received my "call" to ministry at a UM summer camp. I went to seminary to fulfill this dream and vision. At seminary, for the first time, I came to terms with there being something more about my sexuality than an attraction to men. Then I had to decide whether to pursue my "call" and be silent or to continue to try to pursue the call. Now, I am an ordained elder. I am both happy and angry. I don't know how much longer I can or want to remain silent. It has caused both emotional and physical strain... to the point that I am taking a leave of absence... One thing that I will be deciding is if I can return to the denomination I love so much and doesn't fully want me or if I will seek another denomination.

It is important to me, yet painful. I do not feel affirmed or valued by the UMC and as a result I worship now (for the last 6 months) in an Episcopal church and in the two years prior to that (I moved to a different state) in a very affirming Baptist church.

My involvement and activity level is nil. I believe in being involved where you are taught and I was taught nothing but perhaps the basics as a child. Maybe this is because I resided in a small town when I was young, but I do not think so because it has been that way at every church that I attended no matter the size of the city. However, I learned in my middle forties that religion (and especially Christianity) can be very fascinating if taught with understanding. In other words, there were many things that I supposedly learned that when I started to self-comprehend, I realized that I had no idea what the true (and sometimes supposedly hidden) meaning was.

I would like to become more involved but am hesitant to do so while the national church continues to discriminate based on sex, sexual orientation, and marital status.

I feel strong family and historical ties [to the UMC]. I was raised Methodist... I became a UM clergy, and have chosen the path of non-traditional "Ministries Beyond the Local Church" and thus keep my formal connection with my annual conference. Of course, being "beyond the local church" means that I am not an "appointment problem" to my bishop.... I currently live over-seas, so opportunities for active participation in a UMC are impossible. In fact most Protestant churches near-by are missionary/evangelical oriented, which to me are the very worst.

Although I do not feel great loyalty, I maintain membership in a local church whose congregation is primarily [GLBT] because I think the UMC will likely be among the first protestant denominations to change their policies and welcome everyone. As a life-long member of the UMC, I still want to maintain the affiliation but cannot support the church in any meaningful way.

My UM church closed down three years ago and I've attended other denominations since, but can't quite join another church. I don't want to join another UM church until they change their stance on homosexuality.

I keep receiving the local church's monthly newsletter; it keeps me somewhat informed. I worship the congregation [not the minister] from afar. I may return to singing in the choir -- the only thing they allow me to do since we have had our musical falling-out!

I am a UM but have recently moved. We had a wonderful church [in our former hometown]. It is a reconciling congregation. When we came [here] we looked for an inclusive congregation. We were not able to find one... two churches seemed interested in having us as members. So we found a [another denomination] that has welcomed and took an active role in recruiting us.... my partner and I are 66-year- old gay men and have been together 7 years..... I still send my tithe to the [former] church... because I know they need the money to remain viable.

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